My Beginning: Social Network Marketing for Fame and Fortune

Ok! I started on the Internet online Social Scene about 4 weeks ago with Twitter, YouTube and Facebook to save the world and change the way humanity thinks - but first I had to learn some new things since I have been off the internet since the days of the 300 baud modems. Well that is not exactly true but it just seems that way since moving to Goodrich, Texas (the so called Piney Woods) and having to deal with the frequent thunderstorms which seem to love to target my line-of-sight satellite which sits somewhere to the south in orbit above Texas. Now I am supposed to have a high speed broadband connection which I am told will give me the instant access to the Social elite who chore about the chat rooms.

I am eagerly seeking this success dripping group to fulfill my quest to save the planet before we hit the compression gravitational waves of 2012 - which will wipe out Miami with a pole shift and my hopes of a Miami Vice rerun staring me in a supporting role as “Hack sac Hank” the internet marketing entrepreneur who can dazzle your bank account faster than a runaway bull after your grandma. I am drifting off topic and need to refocus on those troublesome thunderstorms and my flagging career which both seem to be moving as fast as my high speed broadband connection to riches and fame.

Now mind you we are in a drought and need at least 50 inches of rain but that is just a side note to the bear of a problem I have with my Internet connection and the pesky lightening showers and copious downpours of hail – you’d think it was Sodom and Gomorrah instead of Goodrich, Texas just 66 miles north of Houston which might fit the bill for judgmental lightening & hail but that is another story.

On second thought the record drought has caused a burn ban to go into effect and that puts a huge crimp in my trash burning activities which has more than once almost burnt down half of the county with run away fires in high winds – it is really the kind of action I am hoping for in my Internet Marketing Enterprise but the only sparks that are flying there it seems are the online porno bots that keep plaguing my site and keep me pointed to the wrong kind of fire and brimstone.

So I am strapped with the albatross of an internet connection and need more patience than Job or maybe Moses to deal with the stifling slow connection. At any rate after a brutal month of climbing a steep learning curve and having to endure the generation-X heckling and juicy invitations to join there successful groups - which are now reveling in Jamaica with fat bonus checks - I managed to gain a few modest followers but immediately lost half of them with the casual mention of an antique sale – you’d thought I had been talking about Elvis Presley’s underwear or Ivory Mammoth teeth. Then it struck me – could they be thinking I was talking about myself? Offering my services? Holy smokes that is repulsive – they must have quit in sure panic the poor things.



Then it struck me how could I get a pleasing message out? I really am a nice guy – remember my quest is to save the world – not to mention the whales – I am full of love and kindness, goodness, peace and hope – why I could be a veritable saint – had it not been for my “so called arson activities” while burning trash in hurricane force winds.

That particular conflagration not only burnt down half of my neighbors fence line but elicited the help of the local volunteer fire department and my since deceased neighbor Jimmy who had to rush out with his a jug of whiskey and climbed onto a D9 Caterpillar – which by the way had been stashed in my back pasture by some nefarious group – and cut a hasty fire break. I must say I miss Jimmy and his heroic activity but in part he may be the reason for my budding career as an Internet Marketing Guru.

Now the task at hand is how can I show myself? That’s it I’ll tell’em I am a poet – surely they have heard about a Poet or two especially from their grandparents who were in the weeds at Woodstock. Now you might think how does he know about the weeds? That is another story but I was there in spirit!

Sleeping in the weeds

I was melting magic the way the old sagas do with scarab beetles whose kaleidoscope wings carry you safely through dreams
When I came upon a gentleman wrapped tightly in sadness
I said
We all have a different loneliness – the lines of time weave love and sadness into our soul
He said
Lightning and Rain bucking the day
Smelling the hot breath of drought scorched rag weed
Hey have you been sleeping in the weeds?